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Frequently Asked Questions & Wisdom
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Recently Asked Etiquette Questions
10/04/2007
Q: My good friend Beth is having a briss at her home on Monday for her son. Can you please advise me of briss etiquette? For instance, should I bring a gift and if so, what do you recommend?
Thank you kindly,
Laura R.
A:
Shalom Laura,
Your friend will appreciate your attendance at her celebration.Remember that as joyous as the moment is, the baby often is cranky.A gift of an outfit or baby item is always appreciated, however a check in increments of $18 (chai- Hebrew for life) is also an excellent idea.
Your thoughtfulness will certainly be appreciated.
P.S. The new mommy will certainly adore something special to show how appreciated she is.
Lorie Rakov Rudolph JewishEM Maven
------------------------ 09/27/2007
Q: What is the polite thing to do/bring when invited to a stranger's place
Nancy P.
A: Shalom Nancy,
The traditional gift is fruit and vegetable gift baskets,wine,flowers,cookies and sweets. Please make sure to bring only kosher food to a home that keeps kosher. Chag Sameach
Lorie Rakov Rudolph JewishEM Maven
--------------------------------- 09/21/2007
Q: what is the proper etiquette when greeting someone on Yom Kippur? ( before sundown)
Shalom,
Basia Z
I need this asap, pertaining to my manager
A: Shalom Basia,
The correct greeting is G' mar tov ( Gah - Mar- Toe -V). It translates to a good finish. It expresses the sentiment that the person be inscribed and sealed in the book of life. .
Lorie Rakov Rudolph JewishEM Maven
--------------------------------- 09/19/2007
Q: I am attending a Yom Kippur service with my girlfriend and was not sure about the etiquette involved with the yamaka? I am not sure as to whether I am supposed to wear the yamaka or if because I am Catholic that I should refrain from doing so. Does the yamaka hold any religious significance specific to Judaism?
A: Shalom Nate,
Wearing a yamulka shows respect for the traditions of your host. However. a non-Jew has no obligation to wear a yamulka, ever.
The yamulka( head covering) is required to be worn (not necessarily in Reform Temple) when studying prayer or Torah.
L' Shana Tova ( Wishing you a good year)
Lorie Rakov Rudolph JewishEM Maven
------------------------------------ 09/12/2007
Q: Hello,
I sure hope you can help me out here. My niece is engaged to a Jewish man, whose maternal grandmother passed away suddenly a month ago. My family was out of town so we did not pay our respects at he time, as we were traveling overseas. I have met the man’s mother and father and one brother at a dinner celebration in June. They are very fond of our niece and excited about the upcoming wedding, I should mention the bride to be is Catholic and the groom is Jewish. Here’s where I need help. Is it appropriate to send a Gourmet basket etc. for the upcoming Holydays? Do you have any specific shops who specialize in the area of the upper west side of NYC? Thanks for your help. Margo L.
A: Shalom Margo,
Rosh HaShanah is the Jewish New year and a time of celebration. A gift basket would be lovely. A honey cake for a sweet year is very traditional. Yom Kippur is a fast day . No food is eaten on this very solemn day. The fast is broken at sunset with a dairy dinner.
Suggestions: Zabar 212 7872000 or Amy's Breads 2129772670
Hope this helps a bit. Lorie Rakov Rudolph JewishEM Maven ------------------------------------------------ 09/12/2007
Q: Hi. Scott B.
A: Shalom Scott,
Rosh Hashanah is the New Year and a special greeting would be L'shana TovaH ( have a good year) . Each holiday has it's own greeting. There is not a catch all phase for all holidays.
I will be glad to assist as we progress through the New Year.
Lorie R Rudolph JewishEM Maven
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08/21/2007
Q: I am entering a business relationship run by a Jewish family. They are extremely orthodox. Is there anything in particular I should know. I want them to feel very comfortable and would never, unknowingly of course, want to say or do anything that would make them feel otherwise.
Anthony W. A:
Orthodox Jews follow a strict interpretation of the Torah (Jewish Bible).
Men and women who are not married and are not closely related are not allowed to touch each other. they keep the majority of one's body clothed in respectable clothing.
The most important thing is to not shake the hands of the opposite gender
The principal guiding point is that a Jew should not dress in a way that attracts attention. This does not mean dressing poorly, but neither men nor women should dress in a way that overly emphasizes the physical or attracts undue attention.
Men and women are separated at certain other public religious gatherings, especially where dancing is expected to take place. While Orthodox Judaism generally agrees that mixed dancing is prohibited and dancing requires separation.
Men and women who are not married to each other and are not immediate blood relatives are not allowed to enter into a secluded situation in a room or in an area that is private for more than several seconds.
Jewish law requires married women to cover their hair.
---------------------------- 08/15/2007
Dear Madam:
I've been invited to attend a Bar Mitzvah. Am I as a non Jew required to wear a yamika while in the temple?
Please inform me.
Tom D.
A:
Shalom Tom,
Wearing a yamika show respect for your hosts traditions.However, non Jews have no obligation to wear a yamika,ever.
Enjoy the Bar Mitzvah celebration. Lorie Rakov Rudolph Jewish EM Maven ------------------------------- Q:
Good morning Mrs. Lorie Rakov Rudolph
I have been invited to my first Bris by my boss. I was flattered to be invited and am looking forward to attending. I want to know if you can help me be a perfect guest for such an important event. I hope you can answer all of my questions.
1. The Bris is taking place at a Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun this Friday the 17th at 8AM. What should my husband and I wear?
2. Is it appropriate to reach out and touch the baby and the mother for a short hug?
3. Should I bring a gift and if so, what type of gift? This is their third son.
4. Is there a particular/traditional phrase told the parents? Normally in my family tradition we would say "He's adorable, G-d bless him"
Thank you in advance for your input, time and help.
Looking forward to your response.
Be well,
Noemi
A: -------------------------------------- 08/08/2007 Q:
Hello,
We are attending our first Jewish naming ceremony for a neighbor’s daughter and we were unsure of the gift. She was born in February and we gave clothing and a toy at that time. Should we give money at the naming ceremony and what would be the proper amount? Shelli S. A:
Shalom,
I am sure that your neighbor's daughter will appreciate you attending this special ceremony.The number 18 'chai' in Hebrew means 'life'. Any gift in increments of 18 would be considered generous. The amount is up to your discretion.Enjoy this special event.
Lorie Rudolph Jewish EM --------------------------------- 05/29/2007
Q: My dear Mrs.Maven, A:
Joanne,
Let me assure you that not even a Jewish mother can make a 21 year old jewish boy do anything he doesn't want to do. My best suggestion is that when you call to confirm next weeks invitation, you mention that your daughter will not be joining you for dinner.This will allow everyone involved to create the social group they are truly seeking.
If this boy is interested, he will call your daughter. It also will give you and your husband an opportunity to enjoy another couple as a pair .....an experence we all need to get used to as our children continue on their individual journeys.
The Maven Lorie Rudolph JewishEM
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02/09/2007
Q: Dear Mrs. Rudolph,
My son's bar mitzvah is in May and I am about to have the invitation envelopes calligraphed. What is the appropriate way to address an invitation to an individual child? Should the outside envelope read, "Master Jotham Cohen" and the inside envelope read "Master Cohen?" Or should it simply read "Jotham?" Also, etiquette books I have checked say that when inviting a family, the outside envelope would read "Mr. and Mrs. Roger Jassie" with no mention of their daughter while the inside envelope should say, "Mr. and Mrs. Jassie, (next line) Gabi." Is this correct?
Please advise.
Thanks,
Jane W
A:
Dear Jane,
Mazel Tov on your up coming bar mitzvah. You are 100% correct in the appropriate way to address an individual invitation to a child. It is suggested that "Master" is used for children 13 and under while Mr.is for over 13. The less formal approach is used in the inside envelope.When inviting the family, the full name of the adults and their address are on the out-side envelope, while the inside envelope includes the children by first name,listed below their parents.
My. feeling is that you have this well under control. Remember to take a moment and enjoy your son's special day.
The Maven Jewish Em Lorie Rudolph -----------------------------------------------
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